The Evil Loo-Cow named Joe S. 99.10.31
Great job! Looooo!!! Now, you must bend to my wishes and immediately dispatch a team of the best men in your employ to my location: 1574 Jupiter. I will accept none but the best. Do not fail me. Once I have created enough copies of myself, I will take over the world and there will be no one to stop me!!! LOO-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!
joey hobo of the year kal@hbsite.com 99.10.31
yahoo
joey hobo of the year kal@hbsite.com 99.10.31
I would like to announce my reign over all of the world. I am in charge now. My hq is in canada if you want to see me. I am the best person ever.

joey Gorhammmmmmmmmmmmmmm hotmissile@ghostfarm.com 99.10.31
I would like to order 6 tons of canadian fur monkey vomit. Is it possible to order?


joey clorum ronald+byron@ghostfarm.com 99.10.31
i'm lookin for 11 tons of crab intestines you could ship me for money. I mean under the table like. ohhh shoot
joey G misty@ghostfarm.com 99.10.31
do you have 1 million owl eyes I could purchase if so how much
joey Geeseph ron@misterg.com 99.10.31
go to my site and you'll find out why I like clones. I also like invisible pedestrian suits. They are very safe.
Blake Sparkes 99.10.29
So, if I take Bill Clinton's genetic map and combine it with Monica Lewinksy's, should I buy a big humidor?
hazza Hatspin@hotmail.com 99.10.28
That is an impressive site, although I'm glad I knew it was a spoof beforehand, as its is quite realistic in parts.
I have ordered my clone, it should arrive in 28 days I hope??
i'll keep you posted on it's progress!

Mr. Potato Head phead@aol.com 99.10.28
Since Mrs. Potato Head can't have babies, (obviously) we mail-ordered a clone!! We love it!!!
BethIII 99.10.28
I am the future bethIII!!!!!!!
Paulo 99.10.26
You have to be pro-cloning. How can the world have too many Cindy Crawfords?
Tonja 99.10.26
Damn, I thought for a minute there that I wouldn't have to go through nine months of pure unadulterated hell to get a little me running around...oh well. Seriously though, I came across this site while doing research into mammalian cloning and at first wasn't aware that this was a spoof. You know, sort of like selling the FatBlaster-2000 to idiots who watch the home-shopping channel at 2am. You scared me. Not that anyone will read my comments, but has anyone ever considered that once we have achieved the technology to clone a human, then it will probably be possible to alter genetic material, sort of shopping for the physiologically and aesthetically perfect baby? Who wants a world of perfect people running around? How dull. Great site though, and I think that your raison d'etre has been accomplished.
&circumflex;o 99.10.26
o
Nostromo Nostromo@Boethius.com 99.10.25
Our corporation has been interested in acquiring a subsidiary involved in the field of genetic research for quite some time. We were appraised of your capabilities by one, Dr. R. Seed, and he had nothing but accolades for the firm's techniques and methodology. Our representatives will be present at the next meeting of the board to discuss terms of consolidation between our two currently separate entities. Thank you for your input and attention.
Big Daddy 99.10.23
Apparently I can't make up my mind in the cloning debate.
Big Daddy 99.10.23
Where's that picture? It showed my freak, conjoined twins.
Big Daddy jon79@tampabay.rr.com 99.10.23
I'm personally quite unsatisfied in the clone I got from Dreamtech. I asked for Helena Bonham Carter twins and this is what I got:


Precious ROy 99.10.22
This is Precious Roy I just ate a hand full of honey bee's!
and Cloning is for suckers!
Justin Jayourassic5@hotmail.com 99.10.22
This site absoulutely sucks! It's the funniest thing Iv'e ever saw!You proved yourself wrong in your own writings.Being that i'm lazy i didn't want to cite it but it's about Clint Eastwood! I think clonig is rad but the Cindy Crawford part. It won't think,look, act the same as her so what's the point?
Ruleryak webmaster@theyak.com 99.10.22
I want to be a clone. Then I'd be all happy and squishy, etc... But until that point, at least I know I can order a clone or 2 (hundred) from you wonderous people to make my own unholy army of the night. Well, of course they'd be unholy. You heard the Pope, they don't have souls!
Mary mch11@bton.ac.uk 99.10.21
Great site - very well designed (luckily I knew It was a spoof before I got here)
Even better guest book!
But you need more testimonials - I'd be happy to oblige!

Just a caution note from a Librarian/Info worker - you may have copywrite problems with your Dreamtech logo - it's pretty damn similar to Cirus and Master card - might be worth checking out.

congrats on a great site though!
parting thought - if you devope gene mixing tech to go with the cloning, you'll be mirroring the basic biological function of reproduction anyway!
mary
Michelle - 99.10.20
I dont see the point of cloning human beings as the world is overpopulated as it is. I also think that genetically altering a human feotus is wrong aswell

Alice Cooper 99.10.20
Clones (We're All) [3:04] - Flush the Fashion, 1980
I'm a clone
I know it and I'm fine
I'm one and more are on the way
I'm two, doctor
Three's on the line
He'll take incubation another day

I'm all alone, so are we all
We're all clones
All are one and one are all
All are one and one are all

We destroyed the government
We're destroying time
No more problems on the way

I'm through doctor
We don't need your kind
The other ones
Ugly ones
Stupid boys
Wrong ones

I'm all alone, so are we all
We're all clones
All are one and one are all
All are one and one are all

Six is having problems
Adjusting to his clone status
Have to put him on a shelf
All day long we hear him crying so loud
I just wanna be myself
I just wanna be myself
I just wanna be myself
Be myself
Be myself

I'm all alone, so are we all
We destroyed the government
We're destroyed time
No more problems on the way

I'm through doctor
We don't need your kind
The other ones
Ugly ones
Stupid boys
Wrong ones

I'm all alone, so are we all
We're all clones
All are one and one are all
All are one and one are all
I'm all alone, so are we all
We're all clones
All are one and one are all
All are one and one are all


Alice Cooper 99.10.20
Oh, jeeze! I forgot to say what album my little ditty further down the page is from. Its off "Flush the fashion". In my not so humble opinion, my best work, unlike all my other sick, twisted, and demented albums. I mean, whoever thought up a song like "Sick things" must not be right in the head, eh?
ShadowVee shadowv@nospam.deltanet.com 99.10.20
Most of the people who posted anti-cloning messages on this guestlist don't seem to be thinking about the subject, they just seem to be responding with their gut reactions. Also, most of them ask questions that are clearly answered elsewhere on the site; obviously, they are simply approaching the site with a close-minded attitude, so they can't properly think through what they are reading. To those who don't give reasons why you don't like cloning, try thinking about it, and explaining WHY it is that you find cloning humans to be offensive or distressing.
Columbine hilda@apocalypse.org 99.10.20
Isn't it rich?
Isn't it weird?
What would the world do without me if I disappeared?
Where are the clones?
Send in the clones.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it grand?
Even if accidents happen, I'll be on hand
Where are the clones?
There ought to be clones.

Just when I start thinking I'll die
Knowing how many will lose it if I say goodbye
I'll make my entrance again, or at least a good fake
Would it be rude to attend my own wake?

This is a bitch
Living in fear
Why can't I just come to terms with my finite time here?
Send in the clones -
There ought to be clones...
Don't bother, they're here.
Terrrell Alderman t_alderman@hotmail.com 99.10.20
I love this page and Hope to god it is a Joke in any case I love it..
Terrrell Alderman t_alderman@hotmail.com 99.10.20
I love this page and Hope to god it is a Joke in any case I love it..
Weird Al Clone #47 99.10.20
by: Yankovic Weird Al
Even Worse

"I Think I'm A Clone Now"

Isn't it strange...? Feels like I'm lookin' in the mirror
What would people say...if only they knew that I was
Part of some geneticist's plan
Born to be a carbon copy man
There in a petri dish late one night
They took a donor's body cell and fertilized a human egg and so I say...

I think I'm a clone now
There's always two of me just a-hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down

Look at the way...we go out walking close together
I guess you could say...I'm really beside myself
I still remember how it began
They produced a carbon copy man
Born in a science lab late one night
Without a mother or a father
Just a test tube and a womb with a view...

I think I'm a clone now
There's always two of me just a-hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down
I think I'm a clone now
And I can stay at home while I'm out of town
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every pair of genes is a hand-me-down

Signing autographs for my fans
Come and meet the carbon copy man
Livin' in stereo, it's all right
Well I can be my own best friend and I can send myself for pizza, so I say...

I think I'm a clone now
Another one of me's always hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down
I think I'm a clone now
I've been on Oprah Winfrey, I'm world renowned
I think I'm a clone now
And every pair of genes is a hand-me-down
I think I'm a clone now
Thats my genetic twin always hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down
Weird Al Close #47 99.10.20
by: Yankovic Weird Al
Even Worse

"I Think I'm A Clone Now"

Isn't it strange...? Feels like I'm lookin' in the mirror
What would people say...if only they knew that I was
Part of some geneticist's plan
Born to be a carbon copy man
There in a petri dish late one night
They took a donor's body cell and fertilized a human egg and so I say...

I think I'm a clone now
There's always two of me just a-hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down

Look at the way...we go out walking close together
I guess you could say...I'm really beside myself
I still remember how it began
They produced a carbon copy man
Born in a science lab late one night
Without a mother or a father
Just a test tube and a womb with a view...

I think I'm a clone now
There's always two of me just a-hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down
I think I'm a clone now
And I can stay at home while I'm out of town
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every pair of genes is a hand-me-down

Signing autographs for my fans
Come and meet the carbon copy man
Livin' in stereo, it's all right
Well I can be my own best friend and I can send myself for pizza, so I say...

I think I'm a clone now
Another one of me's always hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down
I think I'm a clone now
I've been on Oprah Winfrey, I'm world renowned
I think I'm a clone now
And every pair of genes is a hand-me-down
I think I'm a clone now
Thats my genetic twin always hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down
Jamie Fnord moonowalsh@aol.com 99.10.20
Offhand, on both of my parents side, alcoholism and cancer are abundant. My offspring are probably just as much doomed.
Now, I'm not saying Cloning is appropiate, but at least gene-splicing to produce a better, more well-adjusted child is grand idea.
We, as humans, have taken out Natural Selection, as a precursor on who lives and who dies too young to breed with vaccines and such, but I see so many people nowadays with allergies, low intelligence/common sense, and addictions, that would have died at an early age only a few centuries ago. Now, these people are breeding. Did they have Darwin awards in the 18th Century? Hell no! Why now?
The Department of Public Safety, Christian Coalition, and the Republicans are all against normal, natural, and pretty much just "common-sense right", ways of living and dying. Why?
Cause they think everything has a chance. Offhand, we wouldn't have to worry about abortion, overpopulation or many other social problems, if we stemed our beliefs into the fact they we're already just trying to have beautiful, intelligent, strong children.
We cross our fingers when we mate, that our children will be gifted. So, why do we cross our fingers, when we can just fix the dice that we roll?
Zadron 99.10.20
Ahhh, how nice it is to see the inhabitants of Sol III finally catching up with the rest of their galactic brethren!

Keep advancing at this rate, and soon your will possess a seat on the Council!
Tarty Steve t@rty,net 99.10.20
Great site with *real* depth, and then one of the funniest guset books ever. ROFLOL & thank you again :-)
Adam 2 99.10.19
Where is my rib ?
Jimbo 99.10.19
Outstanding site, very through. Sometimes while reading it was easy to forget it is a spoof.

Thanks!
Alice Cooper 99.10.19
Well now! I spied an OOPS on your Cloning Myths: Debunking Science Fiction page! While making a female "clone" of a male would simply entail removal of the Y chromosome and duplicating the X chromosome (this definition of "simple" involves micromanipulators and polymerase reactions) then allowing the zygote to mature, where do you smartasses think you can get a Y chromosome from a female that doesn't have any? :) I've often wondered what a female version of me would be like. It would give new meaning to the term "Go fuck yourself!" :) LOL! ;)
Alice Cooper 99.10.19
I'm a clone
I'm one and I'm fine
I'm one and more are on the wa-a-ay!
I'm two, Doctor,
Three's on the line
He'll take,
Incubation,
Another day.

Six is having problems,
Adjusting to his clone status.
Have to put him on a shelf.
Please don't put me on a shelf!

All day long we hear him crying so loud.
I just want to be myself,
I just want to be myself,
Be myself,
Be myself,
Be myself!

etc......
eNEMY^x enemy@hjemme.org 99.10.19
Ah, I would really appretiate it if you could contact me
about your cloning projects. I belive I have a project
which may interesst you people over there. I would like
to clone myself into atleast 100+, wouldnt that be nice?

Josef Mengele gouged.eye@severed.heads.org 99.10.19
Yes, yes, we will clone now.

But when can we start killing the inferior leftovers? What are we going to do with them, I mean apart from funny experiments?
Josef Mengele gouged.eye@severed.heads.org 99.10.19
How much will it cost me t clone my new baby dna with a Zevra and a car tyre.

No really, I'm a Nietzschean. Cloning is as fun as anything else!
Simon Roberts simon_roberts@lineone.net 99.10.19
Whu? A spoof! Ah dammit! I wanted a Mini-Me.
I don't see anything wrong with reproductive cloning - it's just a matter of taking the randomness of gene selection out of the equation.
rb 99.10.19
loved it
baxter 99.10.17
A very important site this. Well done creators. Very stimulating and funny but of course way too over the top to be believed at present. :)
But yes, this topic needs huge public debate and there is almost none. What a nightmare of a debate...it will change the human race and people will kick and scream as they are dragged into a new perception of life. (Just as they always do...:) But it's coming like it or not. See an ear cloned on a hand at my website....
sucker 99.10.17
SHit! You had me fooled! I was sooooo pissed off! I was about to write you sicko's a crappy message.. luckily i read the other entries first. So te-heh, very funny, you got me. So it's untrue that you can't kid a kidder!
Die little Jill DIE!
Joy Sierra024@aol.com 99.10.17
Great web site!!! Sure had me fooled! I wouldn't doubt if in a few more year's there really were companies offering this, i'm not sure if that is good or bad but it is something to think about!
amie my_way99@hotmail.com 99.10.16
YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK ! WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR MOM OR DAD ONE DAY SAID " SWEETY YOU ARE A SCIENTIFIC PROJECT, WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIVE OR DIE :) YOU ARE REALLY ME! " IF GOD WANTED CLONES HE WOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN US "TOOLS" TO MAKE BABIES WITH SO ALL YOU PRO-CLONING PEOPLE ... TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT YOUR SELF AND IMAGINE THE WORLD WITH TWO, THREE, OR EVEN FOUR OF YOU !!! SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU THINK THE WORLD IS BAD NOW ... WAIT 'TILL CLONING TAKES OVER!
amie my_way99@hotmail.com 99.10.16
YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK ! WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR MOM OR DAD ONE DAY SAID " SWEETY YOU ARE A SCIENTIFIC PROJECT, WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIVE OR DIE :) YOU ARE REALLY ME! " IF GOD WANTED CLONES HE WOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN US "TOOLS" TO MAKE BABIES WITH SO ALL YOU PRO-CLONING PEOPLE ... TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT YOUR SELF AND IMAGINE THE WORLD WITH TWO, THREE, OR EVEN FOUR OF YOU !!! SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU THINK TYHE WORLD IS BAD NOW ... WAIT 'TILL CLONING TAKES OVER!
ICE 99.10.16
Cloning will take over the world some day soon. YOU ALL WILL DIE.........
Elvis Presley Jennings Reaper6285@aol.com 99.10.15
Clone Elvis!! My family loves Elvis. Can you not see my name?
Greg Major greg@joelshead.com 99.10.14
Joel's Head Laboratories would like to extend a hearty "well done" to Dreamtech for its cloning (and humor) innovation.

Greg Major
Joel's Head Laboratories
www.joelshead.com
P H Feng phfeng@pacific.net.sg 99.10.13
Real cool site !
Although I am anti-cloning, I am sure it will come to pass
in the next fifty years. Mind my words and check it out in
2050.
ROBERT MCGRUDER ELZCORE@COMPUSERVE.COM 99.10.11
I LIKE CLONES. I LIKE THIS SITE TOO. WHOEVER DESIGNED IT IS COOL. CLONES ARE THE WAY OF THE FUTURE. WE CAN CREATE OUR SELVES. DON'T YOU THINK THAT IS WONDERFUL. WE ARE SO DUMB THOUGH. WE MAY BE ABLE TO MAKE CLONES OF OURSELVES BUT WE STILL FIGHT EACH OTHER AND KILL EACH OTHER, WE STILL CAN'T GET ALONG, SO DON'T THINK WE ARE AMAZING BECAUSE WE CAN MAKE CLONES OF OURSELVES. I THINK WE STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO BEFORE WE ARE READY TO APPROACH BEING PERFECT
Charles Mohnike chasmo@zapt.com 99.10.10
Thanks, DreamTech for a job well done. I often had thought about the possibilities of cloning technology before, but the consultants on your 1-800 line showed me how I could turn my dream into a reality. And the price was fantastic--after shopping around, we'd settled on Rusty's Bargain Dupe Shack and my fiancee and I were pleasantly surprised when your rates came in at more than 15% less!!

Our new child is healthy and happy, and of course, the spitting image of a young Woody Allen, as promised. We're very excited about your Fixer (TM) technology that will prevent him from showing the undesirable characteristics of his donor.

Fantastic prices, great service--what more can we say.

Thanks, DreamTech!

Chasmo and Ideagirl


Dave superdave99@joymail.com 99.10.10
THAT'S GREAAAAAAAAT
CJ 99.10.10
One word, WEIRD!

Anyway, it a cool web site!
CJ 99.10.10
One word, WEIRD!

Anyway, it a cool web site!
kZar 99.10.04
Whoa, freaky site, freakier 'book signers . . . Should warn you that your cool site is on several research sites as for real. Mind you don't get sued. Might want to put that disclaimer on every page . . .
Laurie Seigel 99.10.03
Thanks so much for a wonderful tool to teach students how to evaluate a website. You made it fun.